Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
