It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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