Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize