it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize