So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
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I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
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it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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