just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
