Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
