the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
