Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Randomize
