i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
The ass gains better be worth it
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