i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
