So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
