Me too!
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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