dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
