Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
