@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
