I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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