I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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