worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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