For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
