I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
