Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
