please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
