The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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