Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize