i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
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