i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
