we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
