Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
