Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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