He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
