Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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