I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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