I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
