he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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