Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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