i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
