Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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