umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
