someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
