This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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