i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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