Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
