I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
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