i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
