sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
