There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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