I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
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she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
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so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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