I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
