My cat gives me a boner
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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