You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
