so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
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Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
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If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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