some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
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It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
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My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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