yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
