great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
