I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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