I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
