A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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