I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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