I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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