There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
