His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Randomize
