So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
