he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
