...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
