it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
