dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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