You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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